Thursday, February 3, 2011

Ignorance is your new best friend...


SO, I feel like there are so many people, especially kids my age, who just don't know how to handle this disorder. I guess I don't blame them, I don' know how to handle it too well either, but please at least go get educated about it before you start pointing your little finger at me. They think I can just stop what I am doing and call it a day, but I CAN'T. Especially when I am this size, I have no reason to stop trying to take drastic measures to lose the weight. NOW I understand the whole "why can't you just do it the healthy way", well to me I am being pretty safe about it. I am eating WAAAAY to much, almost 1000 cal a day right now, and I don't take diet pills or lax. I say BRAVO, even though I'm currently beyond disgusted with myself for being this size. I guess I understand some peoples concern, like the people who actually want to help (I can tell who my real friends are, and gosh I am surprised at some people for being jerks). I  know the purging is bad and stuff, but right now I can't help it, and I don't really want to help it, I'm sorry...

Anyway... I lost only 1 measly pound today. I was hoping for more because I just started and I usually see a drastic drop in the beginning, but I'll take it. 

I really hope I am 199 by Summer, but that is going to be insane to try to reach. I need to hit the gym to see that kind of progress.

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