I just want to be perfect...

My life is moving in a downward spiral. I am barely even losing weight. I have lost all my goals in life and nothing else matters; I just want to be thin. 

The behaviors get me through the day, the thoughts keep the bad stuff away. I am completely consumed by this. 

On that note, I guess I am dropping out or school for now and I am going to get treatment. I am looking at 2 places and I hope my insurance will cover one of them. I am so worried I will be stuck like this forever.