Seriously....

I fucking gained a pound and a half?!?! I can't believe this! Oh wait actually I can, I am just upset. I keep restricting all day, then at night I start to eat to much. Not quite binging, bu eating enough to ruin my restriction. I had pasta and frosting last night and I couldn't purge. My parents were home and I got to nervous, and now
look! Up 1.5 disgusting pounds :(

Well I guess today is a new day and I can start over, but it's the first week and I already keep messing up. God I have no self control! That is why I am doing this. Yes, I want to be thin, but I really want to show myself that I have self control and will power and I don't need food to survive. I know it's messed up, but I never said I was normal.

Now I am going to try and survive the day on 3 granola bars. Shouldn't be so bad.

Stats:
hw:305
lw:145
yw:291
cw:292.5 killllll meeeee
gw1:199
ugw:115

food log:
1 brownie granola bar:120